CONFUSED

HI READERS :D

Its 3.51 am. I haven't sleep yet. All because I over slept during afternoon. Books made me go into deep sleep. How can I be a book researcher if books made me  sleep ? How can I have a career in English Literature and made my research if I couldn't stand reading it for hours ?
hahax
My big mistake is I love to lay back on my bed while I read that makes feel sleepy. Actually, I'm in a total confused. Where I didn't know what course should I choose to study in university later on. Before this I was listening to my family members, they think I should be a doctor just because I've a character like my aunt (she's a specialist). Then, I was in college, my grades wasn't that good, since then, I thought that medical field wouldn't suit me. I don't like stressful environment but is there any stress free environment? Being a surgeon, they faced many case, they work hard for others. They hardly have time for themselves. So, I thought that I need to choose other career.

I love english. I know my english wasn't that excellent. I love to write, I like reading and I like to used my imagination. Most of the time, I'm imagine "what if I'm at their place?" Being somebody else body for a moment and feel their problems. Then I decided to choose English Literature. Maybe I can become a lecturer, writer, translator and more.:D And now, I'm thinking of applying any scholarship that suits my grades and maybe for other courses also.

It's either I'm choosing what I want or I wanted to ease my parents from paying for my studies . Most of the time, I'd decide based on logical reason but there are also times where I tried to listen to my instinct or follow my own heart. So, we'll see how am I going to decide for this case :D
Wish me the best.
Thank you.

Do It With Love

Hi readers :D
Its been a more than a week since I got back from college. My routines were like a full time housewife but much lighter. I still can get back to sleep if I woke up early in the morning. Holding baby, playing with the kids, tell them the do's and don't. Kind of preparation to become a mother ? ^_^  Well, every woman will be a mother. So why not,I start to learn how to handle the chores and the kids. Its just that I don't have a husband yet. :)

When you're at home, you should lend a helping hand to your mother. Feel how difficult they are arranging their time to settle everything and do it again the next day. Everything can be done with love and that is how they do it. They think about the children, their family must be in a good shape, healthy and tidy. They work hard to keep everything into places and at the same time be a strong person to keep supporting their children and husband. Sometimes. they didn't even care about how they look, their appearance. why? Because they put their family first.

Same as a father. Your presence with your family would be meaningless if you're bringing your work everywhere. Appreciate your child and wife. Yes, spending time with them wouldn't give you any bonus in term of money but it bonds you stronger with them which is more precious that having a lot of money but lack of love. Just keep away your work when you reach home. Appreciate them while they lived. I guess that many parent would tends to wait for their children to grow up to bring them for a holiday. You're losing your precious moments with your love ones. Most of the man would be such a romantic person before they get married. They would do anything to get their girl. But the romantic part of the man would stop when that girl become their wife! MAN!! WHY?

You should know that they want you to do it continuously. Why did you stop reliving your love ? Even the simplest thing can be turned to something romantic. It wasn't that difficult. You just have to be creative and do it with love.

As for me, when I was in college, I choose to be the caretaker for the bicycle store. I know that I'm tired but I love to do that job. I admit that I do feel lonely being alone at the store from 5 pm to 7 pm. Wasn't that alone actually, there's always people come to play. I learn to repair those bicycle from a handsome guy. hehex Then, when I see they come and play happily, it just made my day. I've made someone happy of course I'd be happy too. I know how they would feel if they didn't get the chance to play that day. Imagine, if that person have a worse day since morning, and then in the evening, when they're hoping to cycle, the store is CLOSED. They waited. Hopeless. I open it because I know some person would be shy to jog, so at least they can cycle to release stress and having fun.

You have a choice whether to make people happy or sad. Do everything with love.  

Diary (7 March 2015)

I have less than 2 months to be here. College student life is going to end soon. Went out to jog this morning to find some peace of mind. I found that, the thing that always stop me from doing something, is MYSELF. I was planning to run, but when I reached the center, I will stop and walk because I thought that people will laughed when they look at the way I run. Even though there's nobody looking at me. The astaka was empty. There are only a few girls jogging and I guess they wouldn't bother my presence at the track. Yes, I do feel like a failure/ total loser because I'm no longer a mentor, I didn't get good grades , A. 

And now, my confidence already drop because even when I'm teaching the right thing, people wouldn't listen to me because I'm no longer to be trusted. 

In biology, I always misconception. I thought, its going to be this way,  but in the end, I'M WRONG. 

Biology, I don't think I can use my logic thinking in that subject. In biology class, I cannot use my imagination. I'm stuck. She would stop me. Also in Lab. I can no longer enjoy my lab session. If there's no fun in class, that subject would be heavy for me. Because it makes me even more stressful. In English class, I can  enjoy most of the time, without even forgetting my assignment. I always can finish it on time. 

(how can I be a doctor, if I can't even understand most of the concept in Biology??) 

I'm Back

Hello readers ^_^

Its been a year since my last entry in 2014. Thanks to Allah as I already finish my matriculation program. Many great things had been on me, my upside down in college. At last, I know all that keeps me stronger.

Now that I'm at home, I'll have plenty of time to update this blog and post new entry. From Monday to Friday, from morning till evening, I'll be hanging with those 2 kids (Ihya and Fahri) and soon there'll be a new baby coming. My planning is to read all unread books that I have. Gonna finish it before I headed myself to the upcoming bookfair (Popular, Big bad wolf etc). Plus, I am eager to learn how to cook. I think its time for me to be a helpful daughter instead of being a burden and useless to my parents :D I know that I have to show a good example to my brother, academically and personally.

Thank you.