Too Much Free TIme

Holiday ? Everybody would love it. Time to relax, doing everything you love with a person that you love the most. It would be a splendid time.

But as for me, too much free time would cause my mind dwelling into my past memories, the pastime would suddenly came to me, and started to make me feel the joy, the sadness, the devastating moment that I had before. Plus, the person that I've been with before + the feelings that I had for somebody that I wished would never be true.

I love the time I had during schooldays, I can make myself busy with everything. The good thing when I'm busy is I would not have time to think about being sad or angry or any tormented feelings. Because, I don't let it come to me.

The best thing to overcome this problem is, I need to keep myself busy. I can't give any space to all unworthy things. In facts, it was all from the past. I must make use of my time now. I tried to keep myself busy with books, study, sewing, helping mom with chores, and trying to discipline myself.

December 2013, already come to the end. That means, my birthday is approaching, January is coming and by then, I'm going to start working at the nursery home nearby my house with my mother. Also an extra job from the teachers in my high school (making interesting videos using my expertise for some special events). I do enjoy doing it, but it would cause pressure to me when I'm running out of idea and time. Doing this kind of job cost me my patience and conscience.

Life must go on. Do not let any small things stop you from reaching out the big dreams you had. 

Me Being Selfish

To me, being selfish during this critical time of my life wouldn't cause me to lose anything. My only aim is to protect my heart from anybody that tried to conquer me especially guys. So, I would always playing hard to get, so I wouldn't lose in any battle that related to my inner soul. I don't want others to think that I'm fragile that could be easily get. I am a good friend but I also can be a killer. Hehe sound scary ?? Still not too scary isn't it ?? But never mind I know I can take good care of myself. 

In the Midst of....

HI reader, 

I would like to tell you that I'm in the middle of SPM. So far, it hasn't be too difficult yet. I think I can score ace in that paper. 

From what my father said, I should relax and make a positive thoughts that I will answer all the paper without any disturbance. So, every morning I sat down and trying to imagine the whole thing of me sitting for the exam with a happy feeling, a confidence feeling inside of me plus being cautious and answering without any doubts. And yes! I manage to pull it through. I hope that I managed to do the same thing for Biology, Chemistry, Physic and Additional Mathematics. 

Giving Opportunity

Hello my dearest reader ,

How can I give opportunity to people ?

There's many way for us to be fair towards other. As for me, I love to create memories, because I know it will never ever happen like it used to be.

I was given a task to create a video for Ramadhan and Hari Raya. At first, I was a bit scared thinking about making a video .. again ?? Quite phobia because of my first video was like ... BAD..
But then, I decided to take this opportunity to improve my skill in making a video and give my friends the chance to give out some ideas. I prepared a very simple story line and then I created the script. But after I told them about it and ask them to act, they didn't feel satisfied. So, from there, started a much better story than what I suggested at first, although some of the ideas were totally different from the story line but I just let them be. I want them to feel comfortable with what they were doing and also feel appreciated with the ideas that they had suggested.

I did my best as the director and camera man. I don't want them to feel like they being forced to act instead of enjoying the moment that we had together. I did a recording with all five boys in my class, and me a GIRL asking them to cooperate with me. I tried to keep my emotion stable and stay calm. It was a very exhausting day working with them. Overall, I'm feeling satisfied and absolutely a happy memories was created that day.

As the conclusion, they have the ability to use their imagination but it would be much better if they used it in learning technique. All they need is the opportunity to show it.

My hope is the video will be loved by other people and make them laugh.

My Mission

Hi readers ! It's been a difficult time for me plus with some miracle that had happened to me !! Yea!
Things that we have been planned this few week work out nicely. The study group, having tutor with teachers, and teaching some of my friends. <--- these are my mission. and it seems to work out perfectly!

KEY TO SUCCESS : NEVER STOP TRYING

          The best thing about teaching is we know our capabilities. It also help me in getting to know myself better. For instance, I am able to be more patience and more understanding. The more I give, the more i get. It is a simple concept that we should practice. Telling the truth about others attitude also as a reminder to myself not to do the same thing as what they did. We have minds, use it to think and differentiate between good and bad.
          Recently, I have been collaborating with teachers on what to do with them all. It is not that we have to talk bad about him/her , because everybody has their own weakness and abilities. We have to tell the truth in a proper manner just to figure out what method can be use to help each other. And YES some of us , would be very secretive and that type of person are very difficult to estimate. But when there's a will there's a way.
        Now, I have to struggle more on my addmath and keep track with some of my smart friends. Create your team to succeed to give us more courage to succeed.

I hope the changes that happen now would remain.

Write it all

Hi reader ^_^ what's up ? Did everything turns up the way you want it ?
Well, perhaps yes .. No. That is normal.

I love to write. From what I learn, we must show our gratitude by writing all the things that happen to  us everyday. We expressed our feelings on it. And if we are mad at someone and difficult to tell it, then make it clear on the paper. Seldom we felt many problems is bothering our mind, but then rethink.. To make it clear .. WRITE IT DOWN
Then, you realized that there is only one problem that bothers you, and there still more that make you happy. Be rational.

At first things did not happen as I want. It was just too tough for me. When people around me start making their own assumptions. And I felt as it is killing me. So, I stay alone , think and write ( I cry also) and out of ten things that I wrote down, only 2 of it that ruining my day. So, problems is something that can be solved so there is nothing to worry about. Just move on because I still have friends and teachers that are supporting me.

It is crucial to keep your mind at peace. 

New Student Woah!!

Hello my dear readers,
As in my last entry, I wrote about my new school. Today, it's about how I suddenly become popular. Not that "popular". Being known for the first week in school. I also didn't know what I do, until I become well known haha!

For the third week, I'm in school, I already become the master of ceremony (MC). It happened in sudden.

I think i made a mistake because I sang in class and make my voice be heard. I already been selected as the representative for 'syair'. This time I accept the offer because I don't want my fear to conquer me. I must be able to show what I really got in me. No more hiding who I wanna be... This is me, this is real.. Gonna let the light shine on me!

I still remember how I spoilt my only chance to shine. I was too afraid that time. Now, I'm going to show my talent. Hehe

New School For My Last Year In School

Dear readers, how many times in a year that you have to transfer to another school ?

HAHA! For some of my friends they never experienced about transferring school. There was once, when I have to transfer 3 times in a year. It because of my father have to be transferred to another company. But this time its different. I transfer to another state, Negeri Sembilan. 

I didn't feel sad when I leave TIGS because I already had great fun in TIGS, Batu Pahat. I've entered many competitions although I didn't win all of it. I tried out many things. I already become representative for TIGS. Not all students have the chance to get involved in activity especially in representing the school. It is not easy to get the teachers trust because they can see our capability. 

I left everything I have in TIGS. I left my position as the club chairperson, as the secretary of golf club, and as the FROG VLE TIGS TEAM, ambassador for FROG ASIA. Why did I do it ? Why I left TIGS? Because I'm always excited to do new things because I know that there is a benefits and great things are awaits to happen to me. So, we must dare to try something new. Start new things, get involved. Be famous by doing great things. Create as many great records as you can!! and always set your goals!! Only people with goals knows what decision they have to make. 

As for the new school, SMK Dato Mohd Said. I cannot compare this school with my previous school because it is to different. My previous school has got many title and the students are smart enough in doing great things. They are all very enthusiastic. But my new school now, the students were not disciplined enough. But I am lucky because my classmates overall are quite smart. They were some of them who often didn't finish their homework on time. I hope it wouldn't happen to me. From now on, I have to keep up the good habits that I did before. 

Consistency is very important to maintain our achievement. 

with that I thank you. I love my classmates now ^_^

Being Criticise

A very pressure week for me. It was like torturing me!! Just because of my video, I had to skip my Physics class and the teacher was like .. err

I skipped class for a reason. The video about the old folks that I've been doing these 2 months is the school project, and we are working on it !!! Couldn't she understand that ?? 

We (me and nicole) had to attend a meeting with the headmistress today. Our video had been criticise quite bad. Huh !! last minute editing was just ruining our precious movie about the old folks home.. 

The interview was not in right sequence. Everything overlapped. 

The question that she asked : What service that you did to them ? 

I don't know how to answer it. Because at first, I thought it should be like public service announcement. It is something that we have to show to people, we give advice to the people. But, this situation makes me hard to think. At the end, she cannot accept, what we just did, and she wanted to see improvement in the video by adding pictures of us giving something that is called "service" . 

Back to School

Well, the school holiday ended already. Now, I am back to school as a Form Five student. I'm still at TIGS, studying for this few months.

First day I'm in school, everybody was like surprise seeing me still there. Well, everybody thought I will be no longer in TIGS. Same goes to the teacher, they keep asking me, why ? why ??
I felt like a famous celebrity. I never thought that everybody would ask me. Even the teachers that not teaching me also asked. I guess the news about me leaving the school are spreading widely. I thought that the teachers would keep it as secret and only the teachers would know ..